


Jolene, by Gobbie Parton

by the_northerlies



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn, Gen, Gobbie... boom?, Gobbiespeak, Goblins, Inspired by Jolene (Dolly Parton), Self-Indulgent, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28193337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_northerlies/pseuds/the_northerlies
Summary: Uplander must be opening earflaps to appreciate tunewords of beauteous gobsinger!  Gobsong is storytelling of sneakytake of gobbie heartmate.  Pshhh shkohh...
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Jolene, by Gobbie Parton

**Author's Note:**

> By way of explanation: in the Final Fantasy XIV world, there is a race of people called "goblins" who use a pidgin language when communicating with player races (who they call "uplanders"). This is an adaptation of a very good song into that, as a result of an offhand comment made by a friend (@sinuntosea on Twitter).
> 
> Many thanks to [roefizzlebeef](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roefizzlebeef/pseuds/roefizzlebeef) for her hard - some might say maniacal - work on building a gobbiespeak lexicon, which made writing this far easier. You can find it through the [Gobbiespeak carrd](https://gobbiespeak.carrd.co) she put together!
> 
> Thanks go to @AnimeliaRuss on Twitter for the only title this could possibly have.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
Decease and insist taking of this man  
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
Not dirty-taking gobfriend 'cause you can

Uplander's face all beautyparts  
Your haircurls stopping gobbiehearts  
And betterbuilt could not a braincase be

Uplander's smile sparklyshines  
Your voice makes sounds of breezychimes  
Uplander wins at fightygame  
Jolene

His tongueflaps in his gobbiebed  
Make clearknown from his dreamyhead  
That you are mindfruit inbreaker  
Jolene

Uplander thinks she craftysmart  
For tricksy-taking gobbieheart  
But gobfriend unmeant for her tent  
Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
Decease and insist taking of this man  
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
Not dirty-taking gobfriend 'cause you can

Uplander looks with lustyeyes  
But heartmates are not jinglyprize  
Leave gobfriend and seek freshface boy  
Jolene

These tongueflaps should be plentymuch  
For warning not to lustytouch  
This gobfriend, lest you gobbie-boom  
Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
Decease and insist taking of this man  
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
Not dirty-taking gobfriend 'cause you can  
Jolene, Jolene  
Pshhh shkohh


End file.
